Monday, January 16, 2006

Manifesting as a way of self healing

In spiritual teachings there is the concept of Manifestations. Often this is taught as a method of wish fulfillment. For example one teacher I had years ago had a story, she was in the middle of teaching a manifestation class, they went on their lunch break, passed by a car dealership with a contest being held inside, she wanted a car, went inside, registered for the contest, and ended up winning the car. Manifestation, eh?

While that's a pretty cool story, I want to talk about an experience I just had using manifestation. But before I tell the story, consider these two pictures of a beautiful silk Sari.

I bought this Sari in Bangalore India for my fiancee. I thought, she's going to be my wife, I want something pretty for her, she likes India, she already owns a Sari herself but she's unhappy with that Sari because the color isn't "her".

Two days after I return home from the trip she announces we are splitting up.

What a journey of learning and healing it has been dealing with this. That will be a story to tell for another time, today it's about the Sari and what I just experienced.

The Sari had become a heavy weight for me. I couldn't give it to her, because she was not the person for whom I bought the Sari. If you're confused by that statement, let me say that I bought the Sari for my future wife. She was not going to be my wife, because she had already decided we were splitting up. Hence, she was not the person for whom I bought the Sari.

Every time I thought about this Sari, I could only think of the relationship which was lost. Hence, it has become a heavy weight for me.

I decided it would be best to sell the thing via craigslist.

A couple days ago I listened to a Gregg Braden tape: Lost Mode of Prayer. He talks about a mode of prayer that's also similar to the one taught by Ron Roth. The idea is to make your prayer one of joy, and one where you visualize the desired result happening in joy and peace. I'd also had a similar conversation recently with one of my teachers.

Gregg Braden also talked about a necessary stage of prayer being to have piece in your body, peace in your emotions, peace in your thoughts, and to make the prayer from that sort of peace.

Here's what happened shortly after I put the advertisement on craigslist. I have no idea if what I've done will manifest for me a buyer, what's important is the shift which has occurred for me.

I had the thought "maybe you can manifest a buyer" and I remembered the outline of manifestation I heard Gregg Braden talk about. I started saying, as a kind of chant, "Someone will buy this Sari, who will enjoy it, and for whom it will be a thing of beauty". Over and over, the same phrase. But what did I feel? Was I in peace?

Remember the context I described. This Sari had become a heavy weight for me. And that's what I felt, initially, as I made this chanting prayer. It was hard to say the chant because I so much wanted to cry, but I kept going.

Eventually the ideas and the feeling began to shift. A picture started to form, someone who would be happy with the Sari. My voice had been weak with the struggle, but it became firmer and stronger. And, now, I am happy. I know that someone will buy this Sari, and that they will enjoy it, it will be a thing of beauty for them, that it will bring joy to their life, and I am happy because the Sari will go to such a person.

Maybe the people who teach manifestation as a means of wish fulfillment are missing the bigger picture?

What I'm describing here is about healing. It feels very much like I've taken the heavy weight concerning the Sari, and transformed it to joy. And, maybe, it has shifted a little of the weight I'm feeling about the relationship's end.

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